yes, i really do have this much free time

so, i've been thinking lately - about a lot of things in general and a few things in particular. as some of my good friends know, i've been feeling like i'm at a cross-roads in my life for some time now. with the end of the academic year (which, for some odd reason, i still find myself gauging my life by), i've felt compelled to look at my life and examine it in the context of accomplishments. one full year has passed since i walked down the aisle at the JCP, received my diploma and shook the hand of Dr. Lyons. i remember feeling entirely exhilarated and entirely scared, simultaneously. that was the end of my formal education. that day marked the culmination of 16 years of academic venture, and left me feeling uncertain about my future. following the ceremony and celebrations with my friends and family, i moved out of the dorms and into my own apartment. i was there for almost two months before my sister moved in with me, and it was almost three months before i found suitable employment. now approaching the one-year mark at my "suitable" job, i'm forced to take inventory on what i've learned and on where i'm going. said inventory has presented me with a rather dismal report. i'm going to use this forum to air my thoughts, as i often do, and to develop a sort list of pros and cons, a presentation of facts, if you will. after all, i have spent the past year in a law firm, which brings me to the beginning of my list:

Pros for the past year
1. learned many fancy legal terms
2. learned how to maneuver ridiculously insane office politics
3. developed some very good working-relationships
4. been able to support myself (for the most part...) for the past year
5. maintained and expanded friendships made in college with the greatest friends around
6. was given a raise at my job
7. had a lot of fun
8. been close enough to my family (geographically) that i can visit often
9. maintained my car and apartment
10. logged a full year with the same employer, which was one of my original goals

Cons for the past year
1. mostly just heard fancy legal terms being thrown around rather than having had the chance to use them myself
2. endured ridiculously insane office politics
3. been used as a pawn in some working-relationships
4. have still had to have mom bail me out a few times
5. have not maintained any sort of romantic relationship worth mentioning
6. still doing the same tasks
7. blown a lot of money
8. not visited as much as i maybe should have
9. the issue of my car and appartment really doesn't have much contest from me
10. become completely bored with my job, which was not one of my goals

now that i've done that, i need to be honest with myself and say that i don't feel like i'm completely fulfilled here. by here, i guess i mean in my job and in the life i've made for myself in san diego after college. this past year has been a good transition phase for me, but i've always known that i wanted something different, in a way, something more from life. it's becoming more and more apparent to me that for the major i chose and the career path i would like to follow, san diego is not the ideal location for me. don't get me wrong, it's an amazing city and i love it. i just feel like it's time for me to try something else, something different and that now is the time, now, when i don't have any huge commitments to the city or to anyone else at all. it's scary, contemplating a life change like this, but i guess, sort of like the mixed feelings i had on graduation day, it's also exhilarating.