The Secret Ingredient

It has come to my attention that there is one very crucial ingredient necessary for involvement in graduate studies. This "ingredient" is universal in its necessity and powerful in its application. What I am about to tell you will grant you the power to step into a world where appearance pretends to struggle for importance and ideas float through the air the way perfume does in places where it matters.

The blazer may have had its hey-day in the 1980s, but it is still out in full force at seminars, symposiums and graduate soirées. It's irrelevant whether the topic of discussion is biosynthesis, bipartisanship or Boethius; the blazer fits with them all. Let me tell you why.

Suppose you walk into a room in which the crowd is engaged in a discussion of a topic whose subtleties evade you. No problem! You remembered to pull on your blazer over your t-shirt before you left your apartment. In doing so, whether you realized it or not, you also pulled on the appearance of awareness, of cognitive consonance, of supreme command of the topic at hand, all mixed with the perfect amount of elitist nonchalance. You flirt with Aristotelian mathematics in your sleep! You consider existential dilemmas over breakfast! A blazer will allow you this, even if the only thing you really consider over breakfast is calories.

Take it from me; I've seen it in action! A blazer can knock down doors in academia that it would blow shut in fashion-savvy social circles. You put on a blazer and you tell the world, "Take me as seriously as I take myself!" And who doesn't like that sort of a message? So, the next time you set out to be recognized as knowledgeable, leave those heavy books on the shelf. Instead, put on that unisex vêtement and hold your head high. You have the secret ingredient!